


A Mercenary Day Tangle

by Genericktag



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-25 00:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genericktag/pseuds/Genericktag
Summary: With only a few shopping days left before Mercenary Day, Rhys enlists Athena's help to find Sasha the perfect gift. But a complication arises that may put their holiday plans in jeopardy.





	A Mercenary Day Tangle

Since Mercenary Day had been created and sponsored by the Dahl Corporation, it had never been openly celebrated on Helios or at any other “respectable” Hyperion establishment. Still, it was hard to work and live around the border planets without hearing at least something about it, and Rhys had gleaned a vague idea of the concept. What he hadn’t ever cared enough to learn was how truly important the holiday was to Pandorans. Sasha had started decorating weeks in advance, and Fiona and Athena had temporarily suspended their training together to return to Hollow Point and spend time with their friends and loved ones. Even the Bandits and Psychos seemed to be relatively calm lately.

Rhys and Vaughn had been invited the festivities this year, and their friends had excitedly given them a crash course in the traditions of Mercenary Day. One of the most important of these traditions was, of course, the gift exchange. Rhys had quite easily found something for almost everyone. A new hat for Fiona, a Loader Bot action figure for Gortys, and he figured Athena and Janey wouldn’t mind receiving the waffle maker from their wedding registry a little bit early. Sasha, though, was special to him, and Rhys wanted to get her something to show for it. A new gun would be perfect for her, of course. Something rare and expensive that she could proudly show off as the new centerpiece of her ever-growing collection of firearms. The problem was that Rhys himself knew very little about guns or their collectability. In desperation and with but a few short shopping days left he had contacted Athena via ECHO. Sure, he found the Gladiator cold and unfriendly and more than a little terrifying, but under the circumstances she was the only person he could think of that might be able to help him. 

“So the job,” Athena said, “is that you want me to take you Mercenary Day shopping for your girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Pretty much,” Rhys replied.

“And you’re going to pay me to do this?”

“Sure. I’d be hiring you as, like, my personal shopper.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good time of year to make some easy money.” Athena said. “I’ll send some coordinates to your ECHO device. Meet me there tomorrow morning. Oh, but don’t ever call me your ‘personal shopper’ again.”

She hung up before he could say goodbye.

Rhys met her the next morning as instructed, and now he stood back as she punched a code into a Fast Travel station. His gaze wandered up to the city literally floating above them in the distance. 

“Are you sure going to Sanctuary is a good idea?” Rhys asked. 

“Marcus is the person to go to for guns on this planet,” Athena said without sparing so much as a glance over her shoulder at him. “So, you can waste your time and money and possibly get us killed hunting around for a vending machine with something worthwhile in it, or I can just take you straight to the source.”

“I’m just not sure either of us has the best reputation up there. Me being an ex-Hyperion business manager and you being…you.”

“I’ve patched things up with Lilith and her people.” Athena said. “Well, sort of, anyway. All you have to do is keep your mouth shut for the three minutes it will take us to walk from the station to Marcus’s store. Think you can pull that off?”

Rhys took a deep breath. “OK. Sure. Yeah. Let’s do this. I’m ready to go shopping! Let’s-”

Athena pushed a button on the Fast Travel, and whatever was left of Rhys’s self-pep talk died in his throat as he felt himself being suddenly stretched and pulled across space. The journey only took a few seconds, but the sensation of fast traveling was still intense for someone who wasn’t used to it. Then suddenly he was laying on his back, staring up at the roof of Pierce Station and gasping for breath. Athena stepped into his field of vision, towering above him.

“What? Have you never fast travelled before?” she asked.

“I have,” he said, still laying down and waiting for his equilibrium to realign. “I didn’t like it that time either.”

Athena rolled her eyes, but held out a hand to help him up. “Lightweight,” she said as she pulled him to his feet.

As Rhys took a moment to catch his breath, Athena eased over to the door of the station and carefully peered out. “Looks like we’re in luck. I don’t see anyone likely to pick a fight with us out there.”

Rhys steadied himself against a wall. “I thought you said you were good with these people.”

“Yeah, well, I’d still rather avoid any questions, wouldn’t you? C’mon, let’s go.”

They stepped out into the street, and Rhys got his first real look at Sanctuary. It wasn’t exactly pretty, but it wasn’t the complete hellhole that Hyperion propaganda had described, either. Mostly people were just going about their lives. One man on the corner sold news ECHOs while another stood on the sidewalk, yelling obscenities at any robot that rolled or walked by. A rather large group of people were walking into Moxxi’s bar, preparing for some pre-lunch drinking. Overall, it seemed like one of the friendlier places Rhys had been to on this planet.

He didn’t have a lot of time to look around, though. Marcus Munitions was only a block or so away from Pierce Station, so it didn’t take them long to reach it. Rhys let Athena push her way through the door and into the shop first, following close behind and attempting not to be noticed by any of the locals. A heavy-set man, whose face Rhys recognized from the countless weapon vending machines he had seen all over Pandora, stood behind a counter and a set of protective metal bars.

“Athena!” Marcus boomed. “Long time no see! I thought you were getting out of the whole violence and bloodshed business!”

Athena stepped aside and pointed back at Rhys with her thumb. “I’m with a…friend. He hired me to help him find a gun for his girlfriend for Mercenary Day.”

“Oh, I see. So you’re like a personal shopper now?” Marcus said. 

Athena groaned in frustration. Marcus ignored her and turned his attention to Rhys. 

“Well sir,” he began, “I can tell you you’ve made the right decision in choosing Marcus Munitions for Mercenary Day gifts for your loved ones. So, what kind of woman is this girlfriend of yours?”

“Uh, well, she likes guns. A lot.” Rhys said.

Marcus nodded. “What good woman doesn’t? What I mean is, how much power does she want? How good of a shot is she? What sort of weapon does she usually favour?”

“Oh right.” Rhys said. “She’s sort of a collector. I’m looking for something she can show off, you know? She likes SMGs I think. Maybe something like that?”

Marcus nodded slowly. “I think I may have a few things that fit that description. Step over to the firing range, I’ll join you in a moment.”

The firing range was set up in the room on their right, and as they entered Athena quietly noted that Marcus didn’t have anyone tied up to the targets just then. He must really be in the Mercenary Day spirit. A few moments later the gun salesman joined them with an armful of weapons. He had taken Rhys’s word that Sasha favoured SMGs, but had brought in a few other types of guns for variety. Marcus set the guns down on the counter and Athena immediately began to sort through them. There was a rocket launcher that she immediately dismissed as being “too heavy.” She tossed aside an assault rifle, claiming that even she found the thing hard to control with the amount of recoil it had. Soon she had narrowed down the choices to a select few and beckoned Rhys over.

“Athena has made some excellent selections,” Marcus said as Rhys approached. “Your girlfriend will be the talk of whatever town or bandit camp she resides in with one of those weapons on her person.”

“I picked out some older models,” Athena explained. “They’re getting rarer, so they’re pretty popular among collectors, from what I’ve heard.”

Rhys pointed to the gun closest to him. “That’s the old Hyperion style, isn’t it?”

“Ah, so you’re not as gun illiterate as you look,” Marcus said. “That is a genuine classic Hyperion first edition legendary SMG. Highly accurate and compatible with any elemental tech.”

“It’s not the one I’d recommend giving Sasha as a Mercenary Day present though,” Athena said.

“Why?” Rhys asked. “Because it’s Hyperion? Sasha hates Hyperion as a company as much as anyone, but when it comes to their guns-“

“No, not that.” Athena interrupted. “I just wouldn’t give my girlfriend a gun called The Bitch.”

“Oh,” Rhys said.

“At least not for Mercenary Day.”

“Right.”  
“It’s a great gun. But the name might give her the wrong impression.”

“Yeah. I get it.” Rhys shook his head. “So, what else have you got?”

Marcus picked up the next gun in the lineup, a double-barreled pistol.

“Say hello to the Gemini,” Marcus said. “S&S Munitions manufactured it shortly before being driven out of business years ago. Not only is it a sought-after collector’s item, but it’s still an effective weapon. Here, allow your not-a-personal-shopper to demonstrate.”

Athena scowled as she accepted the proffered weapon. She took quick aim and squeezed the trigger. Two bursts of twin bullets erupted from the small gun and found their marks in one of Marcus’s painted targets, a perfectly placed pattern of four holes right where the target’s heart would be.

“It’s a pretty good weapon,” Athena said. “Nice accuracy, decent stopping power, large magazine. No room for elemental tech, though.”

“Seems practical,” Rhys said. “But I don’t really think it fits Sasha’s style. Is there anything here she’d just be able to have fun shooting?”

Marcus scratched his chin. “Hmmm. Something that’s collectible, stylish, and fun to shoot, eh?”

He began to sift through the small pile of guns one more time.

“Aha,” he said as he found the one he was looking for. “Here, try this one on for size. The Maliwan Hellfire SMG, original model. This thing was a big hit in its day, so much so that Maliwan had to put out a second version of it.”

Athena took aim at the target once again. She fired a short burst at the target, which promptly burst into flames. She turned to look at Rhys.

“That was pretty fun,” she said, her voice maintaining its even, serious tone.

“OK, I think she’ll like that one,” Rhys said, then lowered his voice so only Athena could hear him. “How much do you think it’s worth?”

“I know you’re talking about money now,” Marcus said. “I’ve been in this business for years. You think I don’t know what people are talking about when they suddenly start whispering to each other after some test shooting?”

“I would assume that they’re planning to turn the guns on me and run off with them,” Athena said.

“Yeah, that too,” Marcus agreed, eyeing Rhys up and down. “And I’ve learned never to trust a man in a suit. But you’re too smart to try something like that on me, right Athena?”

“Hey, hey,” Rhys said, putting up his hands in a gesture of innocence. “No one’s trying anything. I just want to be sure we’re all on the level here. So, how much are you asking for the Hellfire?”

Marcus picked up the gun and turned it over in his hands, inspecting it.

“This is an excellent weapon and a prime collector’s item.” He sighed. “But you’re lucky. I have a real soft spot for a Mercenary Day love story. I always do something stupid at this time of year. You can have it for four thousand five hundred dollars.”

Rhys looked to Athena, whose eyes had widened slightly.

“That’s about as good a price as you’re ever going to get on a weapon like that,” she said. “Honestly I’d take it and get out of here before the spirit of the season wears off on him. That is, if you actually have that kind of money.”

“Alright then,” Rhys said, “it’s a deal.”

He stuck out his hand. Marcus gripped it firmly and gave it a good shake. “Pleasure doing business with you. No refunds.”

Rhys paid in cash, and he and Athena waited as Marcus checked the bills to make sure they were real. Rhys seemed pretty pleased with himself, but Athena was still wary of spending too much time in Sanctuary. As soon as Marcus gave them the OK, she turned and walked out the front door of the store without another word. Rhys paused to thank Marcus for his help one more time (it probably wouldn’t be a bad business strategy to get on good terms with him) before hurrying after her, but he didn’t have to bother trying to catch up. Someone had stopped Athena on the street just outside. The red-haired woman looked over Athena’s shoulder at him as he appeared, taking in the expensive suit, the cybernetic augmentations, and the vintage Maliwan SMG he was carrying. 

“’Sup?” said Lilith.

 

It was getting late, and Janey Springs was getting worried. Surely it didn’t take this long to take someone Mercenary Day shopping for a single gift? So where was Athena? Springs knew that her fiancee was more than capable of looking after herself, but she also knew that there were any number of dangerous things on Pandora that could surprise you at any time. Even if you were as capable as Athena was. Springs squeezed her eyes shut and tried to push that train of thought out of her mind. She took a deep breath to settle her nerves. Athena had just gone shopping with Rhys right? Maybe he had just needed her help to distract Sasha while he hid her gift? Maybe they had run into Fiona on their way back to Hollow Point and had gone to the Purple Skag for a drink, and Athena had just lost track of time.

Springs grabbed her ECHO device off the workbench she was sitting at and called Sasha. If Rhys was with her, at least she would know that he and Athena had come back to town. Everything was probably fine. She probably wouldn’t even have to mention anything about their significant others’s shopping trip.

“Hey Springs,” Sasha’s voice came over the ECHO. “Can’t say I was expecting this call. What’s up?”

“Hey Sasha,” Springs replied cheerily, “I was just wondering…you haven’t seen Athena around, have you?”

“Uh no,” Sasha said. “Why?”

“Oh, no reason. Is Rhys there with you, by any chance?” Springs asked.

“Not right now,” Sasha said. “Springs, you sound kind of weird. Is everything OK?”

“Well, Athena and Rhys went shopping together this morning.”

“Shopping?” Sasha repeated.

“Yes,” Springs confirmed. “For Mercenary Day presents.”

“Together.”

“Yes.”

“Rhys and Athena.”

“Yes.”

“Huh,” Sasha said. “That IS weird.”

“The thing is,” Springs continued, “Athena hasn’t come home yet. That’s why I called to ask if you’d seen Rhys.”

“Oh,” Sasha bit her lip, feeling suddenly nervous. “You don’t think something might have happened to them, do you?”

“I hope not,” Springs said. “Athena’s been through a lot worse than a holiday shopping trip but…honestly I’m starting to get a bit worried.”

“OK,” Sasha tried to think. “Dammit Rhys. He didn’t tell me anything about this. Do you know where they were going?”

“Athena told me they we were going to some shops in Sanctuary.”

“Oh, Sanctuary.” Sasha said. “Of course Rhys would go shopping in a city full of Vault Hunters floating miles off the ground without telling anyone. It’s not like he ever let good sense hold him back before!”

“I’ll go check if anyone’s seen them up there,” Springs said. “I have the Fast Travel access codes since Scooter had a garage in Sanctuary.”

“It’ll be better if we both go. We can cover more ground,” said Sasha. “Just hold on, I’ll be right over.”

Sasha disconnected, and Springs hooked her ECHO on to her belt. She moved quickly around the garage, picking up a pistol and a few other things she thought might be useful as she waited for Sasha to arrive.

“Athena, you’d better be alright,” she said quietly.

 

Rhys and Athena sat leaning against opposite walls inside the small jail cell that was built into the back of the Crimson Raiders’s Headquarters. They’d been left in there for most of the day after Lilith and a pair of her trusted lieutenants had dragged them over from Marcus’s store. Apparently, they’re attempt to look inconspicuous had made them look very conspicuous. Someone had noticed them on their short walk from Pierce Station, hadn’t liked the looks of them, and reported their arrival to an on-duty Raider. Rhys had a feeling that Athena was spending the entirety of their time in the cell stewing in silent rage, and had thus carefully avoided talking to her. He was taken by surprise when she eventually spoke to him first, and even more surprised by what she said.

“I’m sorry.”

Rhys was sure he hadn’t heard her properly. “I..you…you’re what?”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “This was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have brought you here. I should have known better.”

“You, uh, you don’t have to apologize,” he said awkwardly. “It’s not your fault. I mean, if I’d have done some research on guns earlier I could have just put in an order and had it delivered. It’s just that this whole ‘Mercenary Day’ thing is kind of new to me, you know?”

Athena just shrugged.

“Well,” Rhys kept going, not wanting to fall back into the gloomy silence they had maintained previously. “At least all my shopping is done now. Cool gun for Sasha, nice new hat for Fiona, Vaug-“

“Wait a minute!” Athena said suddenly. She spoke with such conviction that Rhys let his hopes up for a moment and listened intently. Maybe she had figured out a way to get them out of here?

“You can’t get Fiona a new hat!” she declared, pointing to herself. “ _I_ got Fiona a new hat!”

Whatever debate was about to ensue over who had the right to give Fiona a new hat died prematurely, as both occupants of the cell became aware of footsteps heading towards them. Lilith had entered the building. She walked up to the table where the prisoners’s weapons had been set and picked up the Hellfire. Then she grabbed a chair, pulled it over in front of the bars of the cell, and sat down in front of them. She examined the SMG briefly before addressing her captives.

“I thought after Jack you’d learned your lesson about hanging around with corporate types, Athena,” Lilith said. “But then I hear that you’re sneaking around my city buying weapons with some cyborg in an ugly suit. Care to explain?”

Athena kept eye contact with Lilith, a feat that Rhys found very impressive.

“He’s a friend of mine,” Athena said, once again hesitating slightly before the word ‘friend.’ “We were just doing some Mercenary Day shopping.”

Lilith smirked. “You expect me to believe that? Since when do you have friends?”

Athena grit her teeth. The siren may not be trying to kill her anymore, but their relationship was still far from cordial. It didn’t help that she’d been forced to give Lilith almost her entire life story after everything that happened with Jack and Hyperion. If anyone knew and could exploit Athena’s emotional vulnerabilities, it was her.

“It’s the truth,” Rhys said. Lilith turned her attention to him, and his attempt to maintain the same sort of eye contact with her that Athena had failed immediately. 

“Really,” said Lilith. “Since you’re such good friends, has Athena ever mentioned the fact that most of the people who get close enough to trust her tend to wind up dead?”

Rhys glanced over at Athena. She was staring at the floor, rhythmically clenching and unclenching her right fist. It unnerved him to see how easily Lilith was breaking through her usually stoic demeanor. But she was his only ally here, and he was the only one who was going to be able to back her up. 

Rhys gathered up every bit of courage he’d gained since coming to Pandora, turned to Lilith, and bravely shrugged at her. “I’m still here. And I’m feeling perfectly healthy.”

“For now.”

“That a threat?” Athena asked, her voice low.

“Just an observation.” Lilith replied. She addressed Rhys once again. “What’s your name?”

“Rhys.”

“Well Rhys, I’ve got a few questions for you. We’ll start with an easy one. If you’re just buying some Mercenary Day presents, who’s the fancy gun for?”

“My girlfriend,” Rhys answered. “She’s a collector.”

“Mm-hm. And where’d you get all the tech?” She gestured to indicate his cybernetic augments.

Athena looked at him sharply, and Rhys knew he had to answer carefully.

“It’s a custom job,” he said. “I did most of it myself.”

“It may be custom now,” said Lilith. “But implants like that require surgery when they’re first put in. You didn’t do that yourself. Who do you work for?”

Rhys swallowed hard and Athena cursed under her breath. Lilith got up and walked slowly closer to the bars that separated her from her prisoners. Her eyes began to glow eerily.

“I said; who do you work for?”

Rhys sighed. “I used to be Hyperion. But-“

He was cut off by Lilith’s laughter as she dropped back into her chair. “Oh Athena, I can’t believe this. He’s even Hyperion! You’re just never going to learn, are you?”

“I said I _was_ Hyperion,” Rhys said. “I quit a long time ago.”

“Sure you did.” Lilith chuckled. “Right about the time the space station came down, maybe?” 

“It’s kind of a long story. What happened was-”

A knock at the front door interrupted the interrogation. A uniformed Raider was standing on the threshold.

“Er, excuse me, sir,” he said. “But that lady who runs the garage is here. She brought a, um, guest. They say they want to see their significant others.”

Lilith waved a hand. “Fine, let them in.”

If getting thrown into prison because of a shopping trip was embarrassing for Rhys and Athena, having to sit there while Sasha and Springs walked in to see them in said prison was absolutely mortifying. Springs brandished a large wrench over her shoulder as she took in the sight of her fiancée and her friend trying to sink into the floor. Lilith eyed the young woman who entered with the mechanic. She was obviously a Pandoran native, which was surprising. Even if the Hyperion suit did have a girlfriend, which Lilith had highly doubted, she would have expected another corporate type with a taste for keeping old weapons as trophies.

“Alright,” Springs said. “What’s all this about?”

“I was asking Athena why she’s been sneaking Hyperion employees into Sanctuary to buy weapons.” Lilith replied, holding up the SMG in question.

“Hey,” Sasha interjected. “Is that an original Maliwan Hellfire? I have always wanted to shoot one of those. I hear that if you fire it into a pack of skags they’ll be cooked well enough to eat before they finish falling over.”

Rhys put his organic hand over his forehead. “Great,” he muttered. “Just great. I didn’t even get a chance to wrap the stupid thing.”

Sasha was too absorbed in admiring the gun to hear him. “Look,” she said to Lilith, “I’m sure this is all a big misunderstanding. Rhys is harmless. He barely knows which side of a gun the bullets come out of. I don’t know why he’d be carrying a gun like that around, but-“

“We were shopping for Mercenary Day presents.” Athena interrupted. “That’s why.”

“What does that have to do with-” Sasha’s eyes widened suddenly as realization struck her. “Oh.”

“Happy Mercenary Day,” Rhys said bitterly. “Three days early.”

Sasha blinked slowly. “Rhys...I can’t accept this. Do you have any idea how much a gun like that costs?”

“I’m the one who bought it aren’t I?” Rhys said. “Look, after Fiona and I got back I sold off a bunch of my loot from the Vault for cash. Most of it I invested into business projects, but I wanted to get you something nice for Mercenary Day. It just seems so important to everyone on this planet. So, I asked Athena if I could hire her to help me find a nice gun for you and, well, here we are.” 

“Oh. Wow Rhys that’s-“

“Wait, wait. Back up,” Lilith was on her feet again. “The Vault? You mean the one that appeared after Helios crashed? You opened that Vault?”

“We opened that Vault,” Springs said. “That is, us and a few more of our friends.”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Sasha added. “See, it all started when my sister and adoptive father and I came up with a plan to scam Hyperion out of ten million dollars-“

“OK, look,” Lilith said. “I really don’t have time for all these ‘long stories’ right now. I’ve had Moxxi’s booked for the Crimson Raiders Holiday Party tonight for months. So, because I’m in the spirit of the season and all that junk, why don’t we make a deal?”

“A deal?” Springs questioned.

“I’m in the business of recruiting Vault Hunters, in case you didn’t know. Since your friends here were surprisingly honest with me, apparently, I’ll let them go for now, under one condition. I want the whole story on this Vault and every last detail about what was in it. One week after Mercenary Day, I want you back here with everyone that was there when it was opened.”

“Fine,” Rhys said. “I’m sure we can arrange all that. Now will you please let us out of here!”

“Remember,” Lilith said as she disengaged the lock on the cell door. “One week after Mercenary Day. If you don’t show up, me and my people will come find you instead. And I’ll be feeling a lot less friendly once all the holiday bills have come in.”

Athena left the cell first, followed by Rhys. His muscles were stiff from spending hours sitting on the hard floor, and he rubbed his legs to try to get his circulation going again.

“Don’t forget your gun,” Lilith said, holding it out to him. 

Before he could even reach for it, Sasha had dipped around him in a blur and snatched it up first.

“Oooh. I’ll take that actually!”

“Hey! You’re supposed to wait for Mercenary Day morning!” Rhys protested.

“What’s the point? I’ve already seen it, it’s not like it will be a surprise.”

“The point is -GAK!” Rhys choked as a strong force yanked hard on his tie. Athena pulled him towards the door.

“Will you idiots shut up? Let’s get out of here before our gracious host changes her mind.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Sasha said as she followed them out into the street, heading back towards the Fast Travel at Pierce Station. “Why don’t we go find a skag den? You guys must be hungry. I’ll get to try out my present early and then I’ll make you the best damn skag burgers you’ve ever eaten.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a skag burger period,” Rhys said.

“Oh yes you have. I’ve lied to you about a ton of stuff you’ve eaten on Pandora, actually. Kept you from complaining too much.”

Meanwhile, Springs had carefully manoeuvred an arm around Athena’s shoulders. “Do you two realize how lucky you are to have us? Your intrepid lovers coming to your rescue in the nick of time!”

Athena rolled her eyes, but managed a small smile. “I would have figured something out. I couldn’t give Rhys an excuse to avoid paying me for this stupid ‘personal shopper’ job.”

“Hey! I’m good for it!” Rhys called out.

Athena lowered her voice so only Springs would hear. “And besides, I wouldn’t let anything keep me away from Mercenary Day with you.”

And so, back on solid ground and riding back home in one of Scooter’s old digistructed Technicals, the four friends bantered into the night. They stopped once, at Sasha’s insistence, and learned that the legend of the Maliwan Hellfire was indeed a true one. Hellfire-cooked skag burgers did in fact taste very good. 

A few days later, when Mercenary Day had officially arrived, Rhys sat in August’s bar in Hollow Point sharing a few bottles of rakk ale with Vaughn and taking in the sights of the people around him. A slightly drunk Fiona was letting the robots play a game where they attempted to stack each of her eight new hats on top of her head one by one without toppling them. Sasha had somehow managed to become quite adept with her new gun in just three days, and was schooling Janey and Athena on the merits of “bullet cooking” as they sampled each dish of the Mercenary Day feast that had been set out. It really was a nice idea, Rhys realized suddenly, to take some time out to think about what and who was truly important to you. It was yet another thing that he’d never given much thought to before he’d started trying to build a life on Pandora.

“You know Vaughn, I think everyone here is right,” he said. “Mercenary Day is pretty great.”

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of realize this story is sort of a mashup of two of my favourite classic Christmas specials; Jack Benny's "Jack Goes Christmas Shopping" and the Burns and Allen episode where George is thrown in jail at Christmas. I recommend both, though be warned that the TV version of the Jack Benny one has a rather dark ending.
> 
> Since prices scale in Borderlands, I ballparked the price of the gun based on some Antiques Roadshow appraisal stats for vintage firearms.


End file.
